OK, I’m not one who usually complains about things that happen. I tend to move right along and make things work.
What I’ve noticed is that when these real challenging challenges happens – they REALLY happen – and the thing that truly makes them ‘unhelpful’ is the unexpected money, time and energy that goes with it and the stress that goes with the money, time and energy.
For me it has been one thing after another, after another, after another, to the point when I literally went out into the forest and yelled, “That Is Enough!”.
Sick relatives, rats, teeth, kids, broken glass, dead chickens and there is more. Now, I’m not telling you this for sympathy or as a woe is me story. I created my world, I love this world. I have made choices to shape this world.
A big choice for me is not to put my kids into child care. This choice restricts the options and possibilities available to me.
And it made me think.
Yes, real challenges REALLY happen, they made a bumper sticker (out of the M rated version of it). And there will always be clients who for one reason or another can’t, don’t or won’t do what is needed to make the change. Let’s be honest there are those kind of days for me when I’m with my own coach.
So as a coach, as their coach, where do we stand?
How do we help?
When do we say, step up?
And…Most importantly how do we know the difference?
I seem to have gained the knack of knowing when to say step up. Of saying what need to be said and still be respected for it.
What it has shown me is that in what you do, who you are being every single day especially on the really challenging days truly creates the person that you are. It’s more than that though, The really challenging times really teach us, they help us create the strategies to step beyond the fear. They help us access the resources to change our world and to make life changing decisions. They show us our own character our own values.
So I challenge you to truly know your values.
I’ll start with a couple of mine.
Integrity; is always being able to stand up and say yes I was part of that. I gave as much as I was willing and will sleep soundly knowing that I’m being me.
Loyalty; is when I say. It isn’t my secret to tell. And I will always support you in the best way I know how. From helping to “bury the body”, to saying No.
And finally in the immortal words of Jane Austin (via Elizabeth Bennett)
“I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me”